Sleeping Quatre:The Freaky Ver. of Sleeping Beauty
by Air Guardian
Summary: Sleeping Beauty with a gundam twist. 3x4 warning and a little Relena bashing.
1. Default Chapter

Sleeping Quatre : The Freaky Version of Sleeping Beauty

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing or the story Sleeping Beauty. Never have. Never will.

AN: I thought this up in the middle of the night...strange...

Warnings: 3x4 warning, a little Relena bashing

~

Isabelle sighed. She was bored. Writers block. She looked over at her bookcase and saw something...a fairy tale...a very NICE fairy tale...an idea slowly formed in her head...

[[We're dead.]]

Isabelle: Shut up. You say that every day... ::begins typing:: MWAHAHAHA...

~~~

Once upona time, there was a king(named Zechs) and queen(named Noin) who longed for a child. Finally they had a son who looked A LOT like a girl. They named him Quatre. But because he was so...'femine' looking, they pretended that he was a girl. So, for now on, he was to be called 'Princess Quatre'. Don't worry. It's gonna get a lot stranger.

To celebrate this...birth, all the people in the kingdom went to the royal castle to see "Princess Quatre". They bor gifts for the 'princess'. Also attending was King Trieze and his son Trowa. After much consideration, King Zechs didn't tell King Trieze about Quatre's *coughcough* sex change. So, since the two kings had longed wished to unite their kingdoms, they announced the betrothal of 'Princess' Quatre and Prince Trowa. Yeah, don't tell me how much of an idiot Zechs is.

Also attending were the three good fairies, Heero, Duo, and Wufei. They each brought a gift for the 'girl'.

Duo: Oh my hair! Is it alright Heero-chan?

Heero: Hn. It's fine...

Wufei: Come on, lets get this over with. I have to get back to my Nataku worshipping after this.

The faries approached the crib.

Duo: Oh my! It's a bo-

Heero: ::covers Duo's mouth:: Shut up Duo! They're not supposed to know that!

Duo: mmmphfff!!!!!

Wufei: ::rolls his eyes::

Wufei granted the baby the gift of being watched over by Nataku and Heero granted the gift of the Zero System. Duo took his time.

Duo: Awww...how cute...

Wufei: MAXWELL!! HURRY UP!!

But before he could grant his gift, the evil fourth fairy appeared. Relena!

Relena: ^^; Hi people!

Isabelle: Idiot! Go according to the storyline!

Relena: I mean MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! HOW DARE YOU NOT INVITE ME!?!

Zechs: ::sweatdrops:: 

Duo: HEY! YOU INTERRUPTED ME!!!

Relena: So?

Duo: THAT'S IT! I'VE HAD IT WITH PROTECTING YOU!! Heero can do it himself!

Heero: No! THAT'S TORTURE!!

Relena: *tears* WHY YOU LITTLE...!!! ::turns to Quatre:: BECAUSE OF DUO, ON YOUR SIXTEENTH BIRTHDAY, YOU SHALL PRICK YOUR FINGER ON THE TV ANTENNA AND DIE!!

Quatre: *snore*

Relena: ...ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME??

Quatre: *gurgle* Hehe...big pink balloon...

Relena: THAT'S IT! I'M OUT OF HERE!! *poof*::disappears:: 

The royal palace mourned for 'Princess' Quatre's future. King Zechs ordered all the TV antennas in the palace to be burned. Duo felt bad and gave his gift. Instead of dying, Quatre would fall into a deep sleep and only true, pure love could wake him up. Fearing Relena's power, the fairies took him under their care (that is, against Wufei's protesting) until 'she' was sixteen.

For the next sixteen years, Quatre grew up with the fairies in a small cottage in the woods. Duo-san would teach him the importance of food, Wufei would teach him the importance of Nataku worshipping, and Heero would scare him daily. But most importantly, the fairies treated him like a princess. Therefore, when Quatre was about ten, he noticed something. He went to Wufei-san to have a talk.

Quatre: Wufei-san?

Wufei: ::sipping tea:: Nani Quatre-chan?

Quatre: Why don't I have breasts?

Wufei: ::spits out his tea:: ::nosebleed:: Bre-brea-breasts?

Quatre: Yeah. All the other girls have them.

Wufei: ::suspicious look:: How do you know? No one comes here. ::takes another sip::

Quatre: Duo-san has hentai magazines.

Wufei: O.O X.X ::chokes on his tea:: Quatre, I think I hear some one calling you. Yes, you better go now. ::shoves Quatre out the door and slams it:: ::shoves a tissue up his nose:: Kuso! Why'd he come to me?!?!?

Quatre: ::outside:: o.o ::innocent:: Was it something I said?

~end of first part

Wufei: INJUSTICE!! ONNA!! What was the point of making me a fairy?

Isabelle: ::snaps back:: Hey! I could've done Sleeping Wufei!

Duo: ::sniggers:: Now, there's a thought...

Wufei: SHUT UP!!! KISAMA!!

Isabelle: Yeah, whatever...umm...before I end part one, ::looks at Heero, Quatre, and Trowa:: would you guys like to say something?

Heero: Omae o korosu.

Trowa: //.x

Quatre: Hey! I like that dress!

Isabelle: -.- I should've known. Anyway, I'll get part two up soon. Please R/R! Ja ne!


	2. part two

Sleeping Quatre

Part Two

Disclaimers: Do you EVEN think I own Gundam Wing? Yes? Wow...you honor moi. No, I don't own Gundam Wing...

~~~~

Quatre, in search for an answer to 'her' problem, went to Heero-san. He stumbled upon the fairy...crackling evilly and muttering something about the Zero System. Quatre backed away. This time, he decided to look for Duo-san.

He found the fairy happily munching on pizza, as always.

Quatre: Duo-san?

Duo: Yes Quatre-chan? Want a slice?

Quatre: Err...no thank you. Ummm...I have a question...

Duo: ::raises an eyebrow:: Nani?

Quatre: Why don't I have breasts?

Duo: ::chokes on his pizza:: Uhhh...damn, I knew you were gonna find this out sooner or later. Come here Quatre while I explain something to you.

Duo told him that when he was born, he looked so much like a girl that his parents 'changed' his gender. He also told him not to worry about getting married.

Duo: There's nothing wrong about being bi.

Quatre: Are you bi?

Duo: Uhhh... ::looks at the author questionly:: Is this gonna be another 2x1 fic?

Isabelle: No. You're completely straight in this one.

Duo: Okay. Little Quatre-chan, I am straight.

Quatre: -.-; Yeah, I heard.

When Quatre asked who his parents were again, Duo ignored him. Instead, the braided pil-I mean fairy sent him out into the woods. Duo kept on insisting Quatre neede some fresh air.

Meanwhile, the evil Relena was in constant search for Quatre. She had searched for almost 16 years, and still haven't found the 'princess'. Finally, her henchmen came back again.

Relena: Well?

Henchmen #1: Relena-sama, we have searched everywhere in the kingdom. The princess is not there.

Relena: ::raises an eyebrow:: _Everywhere?_

Henchmen #2: Yes, escpecially in the cradles.

Suddenly, reality hit Relena with full force.

Relena: YOU IDIOTS!! HAVE YOU BEEN SEARCHING FOR A BABY ALL THIS TIME!??! DON'T YOU KNOW THAT THE DAMN PRINCE-I MEAN PRINCESS IS ALMOST 16!??!?!?!

-silence-

Relena was so mad that she gave them the ulimate punshiment.

Henchmen: NOO! PLEASE FORGIVE US RELENA-SAMA!!

Relena: No. You have earned it. Now, go trim Dorothy's eyebrows!

The henchmen left with the look of doom on their faces. Relena called upon her pet parakeet to go find Quatre. Don't ask when Relena got a parakeet. It just happened.

On Quatre's sixteenth birthday, the fairies planned a big surprise for Quatre. She was to return to the kingdom and to marry Prince Trowa today.

Early in the morning, Quatre left the cottage for the woods. He just wanted to be alone for a while. The creatures in the forest all ran to him as he sang "Come On Over Here" by Tony Braxton. Between the lyrics, he told the animals how he wished for a prince charming. Dumb animals. They didn't realize Quatre was a guy.

His sweet voice reached a handsome man who was riding on his horse. The man's eyes widened at the sound. So sweet...beautiful...seductive... He urged his horse to follow the voice. But somehow, he fell into the river. Hey, don't ask me. It was in the script. The guy got out of the river and took off his cape, hat, and boots to dry. No, he was not nude.

Some animals saw this and got an evil idea. They stole Prince Trowa's outer clothes and ran to Quatre. They arranged themselves into a man-like shape and 'dressed' themselves up. 

Trowa: //.O!!!!!!!

They then ran away with Trowa chasing them. When Quatre saw the animals, he cracked up. 

Quatre: ::rolling on the ground, laughing hesterically::

Isabelle: Quatre! Follow the script! It says "Insert sweet, delightful laughter"

Quatre: Oh.

Quatre's grabs the 'prince' and starts to dance. He starts to sing "Arabian Nights" from the Aladdin Soundtrack. Hey, he's Arabian.

Quatre: ::deep voice::_ Oh I come_ ::blinks:: Uhhh...that was strange... ::normal voice::_ from a land, from a_ ...actually, very close place...

Isabelle: QUATRE!!!

Quatre: I mean, _from a faraway place_

Prince Trowa heard this beautiful singing and soon saw Quatre waltzing around with the animals in a white dress. Please don't ask. The animals saw him and left as Trowa took Quatre's hand. After a few seconds, Quatre realized that the 'prince''s hand was no longer furry.

Quatre: ::high pitched scream:: OH MY! YOU'RE REAL!!!

Trowa: ...

Quatre: ::blinks:: Who are you?

Suddenly, something must have snapped. Trowa took Quatre's hand then they began to dance and sing the same time. ("A Whole New World" also by the Aladdin Soundtrack.)

Trowa: ::twirls Quatre around:: _I can show you the world. Shining, shimmering, splendid. Tell me, princess, now when did you last let your heart decide?_

Quatre: ::almost bumps into a tree::

Trowa: ::continues to twirl:: _I can open your eyes, take you wonder by wonder, over, under, and_...under again *forgets the real lyrics* _On a magic carpet ride...._

Quatre: ::gets dizzy from the twirling:: @.@

Trowa and Quatre then break out into a full chorus.

Both: _A whole new world, A new fantasitc point of view! No one to tell us no, or where to go, or say we're only dreaming!_

Quatre: ::leaps like a ballerina:: _A whole new world! A dazzling place I never knew, but when I'm way up here, It's crystal clear, that now I'm in a whole new world with you!_

Trowa: ::dips Quatre:: _Now I'm in a whole new world with you!_

Quatre: ::back hurts now:: _Unbelievable sights, indescribable feeling, soaring, tumbling, freewheeling, through an endless diamond sky. A whole new world!_

Trowa: _Don't you dare close your eyes!_

Quatre: ::closes his eyes::_ A hundred thousand things to see!_ ...I can't see them...

Trowa: //.- _Hold you breath-it gets better!_

Quatre: ...

Isabelle: HE WASN'T SERIOUS!!

Quatre: ::breathes again:: _I'm like a shooting star!_ ::zooms::

Trowa: ::is disturbed::

Quatre: _I've come so far, I can't go back to where I used to be._

Trowa: _A whole new world!_

Quatre: _Every turn is a surprised!_ ::turns and bumps into a tree::

Trowa: //.O!!! Uhhh..._With new horizons to pursue_...

Quatre: oww... ::rubs his nose and looks perfectly fine:: _Every moment, re-letter_.

Both: _I'll chase them anywhere, There's time to spare, Let me share this whole new world with you! A whole new world, That's where we'll be!_

Trowa: _A thrilling chase!_ ::spot lights shine::

Jasim-I mean Quatre: _A wondrous place!_ ::spot lights get brighter and nearly blinds both of them::

Both: _For you and me..._

Lights get dramatic and Quatre and Trowa take a bow.

Isabelle: ::stares:: Tell me that was the most disturbing scene I ever wrote...

Meanwhile, while Trowa and Quatre were...singing...Duo and Wufei were having some problems over Quatre's party dress...

Duo: The dress must be black!

Wufei: No! Green I tell you!!!

Duo: Black!

Wufei: INJUSTICE!! Green!!

Heero: ::plants a bomb in the cake:: MWHAAHAHAHAHAHA!!

-Duo and Wufei turn to stare at the third fairy-

Duo: This is not good.

Wufei: ::agrees::

Heero: Self-detonate in 3...2...1...

Silence.

Everyone blinks.

Cakes explodes.

Heero: BWAHAHAHAHAHA!! Mission completed!

~end of second part

Isabelle: I...just wrote that...

Duo: Wow! Trowa spoke!

Wufei: This dress should be green!

Duo: Black!

Isabelle: Nooooooo....


End file.
